Jenelle Smith

Grief in, Yellow, Black and Green

Work done on 35mm film photography. Taken on a point and shoot camera in Montego Bay, Jamaica

““From my recent trip to Jamaica, I took the opportunity to indulge in the landscape and cultural differences of my family’s homeland. Going to Montego Bay, Jamaica, I was encapsulated in the meaning behind the land. During my week stay on the island I noticed something. Visiting my late father's side of the family in Hopewell, Jamaica, after 6 years of returning to their home, it has been under renovation for as long as I knew. It was beautiful. Painted in a yellow that smiled at you when the sun hit it, a proper roof over the bathroom and eating area. I was amazed with how fast and how different the space had looked and felt in comparison to my last visit. My last time there, the home was only a single floor that spanned a good amount of the yard. I even remember the pebbles in my shoes climbing the hill to get to the house. A place I could feel that was filled with love.This time around I felt emotional. Trying to numb the feeling of loss. Walking into the home I was reminiscent of my late grandmother yelling at the kids, hearing reggae play from a far and hearing the uncles play dominoes on the veranda. This time it was silent. Almost eerily. Hearing the birds chirp and the neighbours constructing their own home. I was greeted to a finished home with missing individuals. Meeting just a few of my cousins; last I saw them they were kids, now young adults. Also meeting, my aunt, uncle and grandmother. Catching up with my family about the last 6 years I noticed the mention of a passed family member had the air feel tight in the Caribbean heat. Death looms the home, yet my family smiles and laughsMy grief has brought me closer to my late father’s side of the family. Allowing me to feel connected to the resilience of the home: honoured, joy, grief, and beautiful memories left behind.””