Mary Fisher

I'M TRYING TO TALK ABOUT GRIEF but with a swing a wagon and walking (gallery)

Gallery images of the swing and wagon portion of my thesis project I'M TRYING TO TALK ABOUT GRIEF but with a swing, a wagon, and walking.

“This project is a simple way to talk about the feelings I have about the experiences of living with grief. Sometimes, the grief I carry is heavy. Sometimes it’s packed away. It weighs on me, and holds me. I want to put it away, to close it up, to feel it, to have my whole body to feel it. And when I don't want to feel it anymore, I still carry its weight. I never liked how we’re not supposed to talk about death. It's not easy to go through alone: the carrying of it, the feeling of it in your body, the pain, the confusion, the questioning, the exhaustion, the lightness after it releases. So I'm trying to talk about it now, to see this experience outside of myself, using objects and actions most of us know — pulling a wagon, swinging on a swing, and walking for too long. The swing — made of steel tube, rod, and chain — is reminiscent of the playground object, but made with curved lines to reflect the motion of swinging, and the cyclical nature of grief. The wagon is a box — steel, opaque and constructed with square edges and strong corners and a soft canvas cover — that acts as a place to enclose the disassembled swing. The walk consists of dragging the wagon containing the swing in an undetermined direction, until I feel the need to stop. I open the box, assemble the swing, and let the swing hold me, propel me in a different way, with whatever energy I have to give it. The swing holds me until I touch the ground again, disassemble it, and repack it into the wagon, to take these tools for feeling and reflection somewhere else to begin again. ”