Reymond Lise
02 Raphael
Video
2022
Make up, Soap and Water, Freeform Poetry
00:04:08 [hh:mm:ss]
I wanted to explore the expectations placed upon trans people to still adhere to the gender binary and the strain that puts it puts us under. I did this by painting myself in drag, an art form with a rich queer history of pushing boundaries of gender expectation and expression, to consolidate my own alienation from my queerness. As a binary trans person, there is pressure to ‘pick a struggle’ in terms of my identity, often sacrificing my queerness for the sake of my transness. I’ve always found myself drawn to makeup, but it's an interest I have kept buried since transitioning, as those around me viewed it as inherently contradictory to my gender identity. Using this medium to push against patriarchal gender expectations and express trans joy is a personal act of reclamation. I wanted to dress in drag because I crave queer expression free from the gender-anxious prisons of fear and self-scrutiny that have been instilled within me through the rigorous application of the bioessentialist binary. I want to inspire others to explore their own gender variance beyond the simple, limiting, false dichotomy of man and woman. Artist note: this piece is a couple of years old, so my views and expression of gender have evolved a bit, but this project is still a pivotal moment in my time at ocad and it would be a shame to not include an artwork that touched people’s hearts and brought a tear to their eyes.
“Some days, I wish my body was a blank canvas so I could paint on a new gender every dayBut more often than not I default to the simply butchBeing a trans man, there are certain expectations to be metThe gender binary scrutinizes me tenfoldI have to be masculine enough to justify my need for transitionOtherwise, I’m a girl playing dress-up Seeking attentionAn impostor of a manAlways reaching for the cisgender standard of masculinityAnd inevitably falling shortExhausting myselfTrying to be the model transsexualCraving more fluid forms of expressionBut looking queer in public draws eyes from every directionAnd who’s to say which pair carries malintentConforming to cisheteronormativity renders me invisibleTo those who would otherwise do me harmBut invisibility breeds lonelinessIt carves the meat out of one’s experienceLeaving a husk Propped up by the expectations of othersA mask An acceptable face for the world to seeDevoid of the queerness that made them uniqueIf I must wear a mask let it be beautifulLet it be a collection of everything I want to beEverything I could beEvery part of me that I’ve tried to hideOpen for the public to seeOne dayFor now, I take solace in the quietly queerSaving my voiceFor the day I grow brave enough to sing at the top of my lungs”
Work by
Reymond Lise aka. Raphael
Cross Disciplinary: Life Studies
“Reymond Lise is an interdisciplinary neurodivergent queer Canadian artist who often employs experimental techniques with a methodical approach to create vibrant new worlds. Lise synthesizes artistic...” [More]