“The past is irrevocable, forever surviving in our minds through our memories. Memory can take shape in flashes of images that provoke nostalgia, despite feeling unfamiliar or unclear. The invasive and uncontrollable nature of these moments of reminiscence can often lead to a resurgence in feelings that one may prefer to remain at rest. These thoughts can allow one to ruminate on the impact of childhood on their current identity, reflecting upon puzzling experiences that can shape our identity. “The Harder it Hurts the More I Love You” is a collection that explores the depiction of repressed memories through image distortion and disintegration, analyzing the complex relationship between childhood trauma and individuality as an adult. My work aims to portray the repression of memory as a trauma response. Through the lens of oil painting, I emphasize absence and memory loss by continually blurring and fragmenting images associated with nostalgia and childhood. I aim to share my own experience of growing up through repetitive distortion. The use of dolls and babies in unfamiliar environments conveys the experience of being a disconnected subject within my own childhood rather than experiencing it. ”